Double Damage

So I’m continuing my thoughts of the Nosedive episode of Black Mirror, this time from the perspective of Lacie’s suppressed emotions. I’ll call this Double Damage. You quickly realize, when watching this episode, that everyone in the town is incredibly pretentious. There are counterfeit smiles and ready made compliments galore. If you’re anything like me, and loathe manufactured interactions, this episode is definitely cringe-worthy.

There’s a particular scene in the episode that reminded me of how damaging the suppression of emotions can be. Lacie is at the airline counter prepared to get her ticket and board the plane, when it’s brought to her attention that her flight has been cancelled, and she does not have enough currency to switch flights. At this point, Lacie is beyond desperate to get to this event. If you recall, she’s trying to get her currency up to secure her dream condo.

Once Lacie’s made aware that she doesn’t have the currency to switch flights, she immediately tries to explain her score in hopes of receiving empathy and compassion for her situation. Not only does the airline representative not show an ounce of empathy, but her tone is cold and condescending. Lacie pleads as the line behind her grows longer with frustrated customers. Finally, after being mocked by the airline representative, Lacie loses it and yells out in profanity-filled frustration.

What I failed to mention in the beginning is there is also no display of discomfort in this town. Any emotion deemed negative would disrupt the guise of perfection. For this reason, the customers behind Lacie immediately judge her with glaring looks followed by One-Star Reviews, which ultimately cause her currency to plummet even further. To add to an already stressful situation, the representative calls security and has Lacie removed from the airport, claiming she was intimidating. The security guard tells Lacie that because of her emotional outburst, she is being placed on “Double Damage”. This takes away an entire credit and puts her under surveillance for any further behaviors seemingly negative. If she makes any other mistakes, the reduction in her score will double.

When we finally arrive at the end of the episode, Lacie is in complete disarray, laughing with hysteria, crying uncontrollably, cursing freely, and letting all of her truths fly. This is the result of suppressing emotions. Lacie was punished with double damage, but many in our religious communities suffer from triple damage. See, suppression of emotions in religious spaces is complex. There’s (1) the unresolved conflict, (2) the condemnation from community members for having issues with your “brother” or “sister”, and (3) a host of physical and psychological issues that follow.

In my former religious context, I remember people having moments of crisis and being encouraged to just “pray and push through” instead of being given space to feel without judgement. There was always a scripture to support the suppression of emotions. “Human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (James 1:20) or “...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning” (Psalms 30:5).

Much like Lacie’s experience, there was no acknowledgement of feelings, and no space to actually experience the emotions. An unpleasant situation occurs, you dismiss the feelings in order to move on. As a therapist, I’m constantly encouraging my clients to express their honest emotions and sit with them. Most spend a significant amount of time judging and dismissing their feelings in the same manner they were taught by their religious influence, and just like Lacie does throughout the episode. They’ve been told in their former religious contexts that God would literally hold their feelings against them and send them to hell if they were unable to come to a godly reconciliation.

In this scene, the people in line with Lacie sit in the seat of judgement. When my clients express discomfort, they usually apologize and rush to correct themselves. I guide them back to that feeling, give them permission to feel it, help them process the source, and reframe the way they think about their emotions. This is the Body Consciousness phase of my Religious Trauma consultations. The reason this phase is important is because of the way suppressing emotions affects our bodies. The physical and psychological effects are overwhelming. Pent up emotions weaken our immune systems, making us more susceptible to illnesses including obesity, diabetes, and hypertension. Psychologically, there is a high level of stress involved which can ultimately lead to anxiety and depression.

If Lacie were my client, I’d first validate her feelings and give her permission to experience those emotions. I’d encourage her to give herself that same permission. Today I ask, what emotions have you been suppressing? I invite you to also to give yourself permission to feel.

Shame With a Smile

Peace Is the Price You Pay